Adoption, or waiting on adoption, can sap the positivity out of the most optimistic individual. Whether it’s due to doubts and wondering if this was the right decision, disappointment and hurt on behalf of the kids over others’ poor choices, disillusionment and failure to meet the high standard you have set for yourself, disheartenment over long waits or reversed decisions, times of negativity are bound to occur here and there.
I’ve been wallowing in the mire of depression and negativity lately, and I need to reverse direction. I miss my positive self. I like seeing the upside in the hard times, the good in the bad.
I’ve prayed, but I haven’t been casting my burdens on Him very well lately. Okay, I haven’t been casting my burdens at all. I’ve been determined to carry them, in a case of pointless martyrdom. My husband certainly doesn’t expect me to live up to the unattainable standards I’ve set for myself. (I’m very blessed to have married a pretty easy-going guy.) My children don’t expect perfection. (They figured out quite quickly that wasn’t going to happen.) The One who created me calls me to himself and promises to meet every need, if I’ll just trust him.
And I find again that the more I trust and the more I pray and the more I simply rely on the One who loves me beyond measure, the more I am equipped to do the job He has given me to do. I am able to enjoy my kids more, despite what seems like endless squabbling and tantrums and noise, noise, noise! I am able to love and pray for their parents, despite being disheartened by some of their choices. I am able to believe that through all the challenges to come in helping traumatized individuals navigate their way to adulthood, He will uphold me.
Our latest challenge: trying a gluten-free, milk (casein)-free diet (or GFCF diet) to see if it helps with oldest child’s attention deficit issues. We have identified a serious digestive problem with milk products, and now that we cut those out, it seems that wheat-containing products are also causing an issue. We earlier eliminated artificial flavors, artificial colors and most preservatives. I also rarely cook with anything in the nightshade family (potatoes/tomatoes/peppers/etc.) as I am allergic to them. So it’s been an interesting puzzle!
We had a few missteps last week. Fed the kids oatmeal. Oops. Who would think most wheat is grown with oats? And, pretty sure I found grains of whole oats mixed into my dried split peas. The more I learn, the more my head is spinning.
But, hey, we’ll get it. We are eating tons of fresh vegetables and fruit, grains and seeds, nuts and legumes. We are already seeing positive changes. Oldest child’s behavior has dramatically calmed down since the end of the school year. Middle kid, usually off in la-la land, is increasingly attentive and focused. Even the youngest child seems to be feeling better. Her complexion glows. My headaches are decreasing. We must be on to something. :)
My goals for this week: find a good gluten-free, potato-starch free bread recipe (think I’ll try substituting cornstarch) and figure out some new, tasty dishes that don’t use eggs. (Everyone can eat eggs and I know how to make them taste good. But, time to branch out before everyone is sick of them.)
My happy thought for the week: I am blessed in that my kids are super good eaters. The grocery bill may be staggering, but I know that they are getting ample and varied nutrients. I watched them compete the other day to see who could eat the most sugar snap peas, the most broccoli, the most raw carrots, the most avocado and I reflected that if we have to take on a diet-adjustment challenge, these are the best kids for the job.
I’ve been wallowing in the mire of depression and negativity lately, and I need to reverse direction. I miss my positive self. I like seeing the upside in the hard times, the good in the bad.
I’ve prayed, but I haven’t been casting my burdens on Him very well lately. Okay, I haven’t been casting my burdens at all. I’ve been determined to carry them, in a case of pointless martyrdom. My husband certainly doesn’t expect me to live up to the unattainable standards I’ve set for myself. (I’m very blessed to have married a pretty easy-going guy.) My children don’t expect perfection. (They figured out quite quickly that wasn’t going to happen.) The One who created me calls me to himself and promises to meet every need, if I’ll just trust him.
And I find again that the more I trust and the more I pray and the more I simply rely on the One who loves me beyond measure, the more I am equipped to do the job He has given me to do. I am able to enjoy my kids more, despite what seems like endless squabbling and tantrums and noise, noise, noise! I am able to love and pray for their parents, despite being disheartened by some of their choices. I am able to believe that through all the challenges to come in helping traumatized individuals navigate their way to adulthood, He will uphold me.
Our latest challenge: trying a gluten-free, milk (casein)-free diet (or GFCF diet) to see if it helps with oldest child’s attention deficit issues. We have identified a serious digestive problem with milk products, and now that we cut those out, it seems that wheat-containing products are also causing an issue. We earlier eliminated artificial flavors, artificial colors and most preservatives. I also rarely cook with anything in the nightshade family (potatoes/tomatoes/peppers/etc.) as I am allergic to them. So it’s been an interesting puzzle!
We had a few missteps last week. Fed the kids oatmeal. Oops. Who would think most wheat is grown with oats? And, pretty sure I found grains of whole oats mixed into my dried split peas. The more I learn, the more my head is spinning.
But, hey, we’ll get it. We are eating tons of fresh vegetables and fruit, grains and seeds, nuts and legumes. We are already seeing positive changes. Oldest child’s behavior has dramatically calmed down since the end of the school year. Middle kid, usually off in la-la land, is increasingly attentive and focused. Even the youngest child seems to be feeling better. Her complexion glows. My headaches are decreasing. We must be on to something. :)
My goals for this week: find a good gluten-free, potato-starch free bread recipe (think I’ll try substituting cornstarch) and figure out some new, tasty dishes that don’t use eggs. (Everyone can eat eggs and I know how to make them taste good. But, time to branch out before everyone is sick of them.)
My happy thought for the week: I am blessed in that my kids are super good eaters. The grocery bill may be staggering, but I know that they are getting ample and varied nutrients. I watched them compete the other day to see who could eat the most sugar snap peas, the most broccoli, the most raw carrots, the most avocado and I reflected that if we have to take on a diet-adjustment challenge, these are the best kids for the job.